


No One's First Choice

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 09:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1260928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balthazar feels guilty for kissing Raphael, as he should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One's First Choice

Balthazar feels guilty when Raphael kisses him. Because Balthazar does get Raphael. Balthazar knows what it’s like to be the substitute for what someone else really wants. He does get that. It’s not like Castiel isn’t stupidly in love with a human, like Balthazar isn’t standing right there and has been for millennia. So yes, Balthazar gets Raphael, which is why he feels so guilty. 

Balthazar isn’t going to touch that Raphael is the enemy in the war Baltahzar agreed to join just for Castiel. They’re still all family and Balthazar still needs to be kissed like he’s the most precious thing in the world and Raphael’s the only one who will give him that. 

But Raphael will only kiss him. 

So that’s one strike against Balthazar, who is content to have a string of lovers. All of which he’d dump in a heartbeat if Cas would have him, including Raphael. And Raphael’s stupid battered, bleeding heart doesn’t deserve that. 

Balthazar saw that Raphael had been dealt the worst had of all of them. Lucifer had been the favorite. Michael strove to be as good as Lucifer, and hates Lucifer as much as he loves him. It’s obsession. Gabriel flew the coup after their father did. So Michael was heartbroken and the only one left to pick up the pieces was Raphael, who was no one’s favorite brother. 

Raphael drew Balthazar back with another kiss. Balthazar returned the kiss and focused on his lover. Raphael could be hard as marble, but he was a healer, the healer. Healers, physicians, doctors, whatever, they had to be hard as rock. But people went into medicine because they cared for people. And Raphael was The Healer. 

Balthazar had never been surprised at Raphael’s gentle eyes and the careful way Raphael touched him, like he was precious, like Balthazar had been physically thrown around by some of his lovers in the past. Then, as now, Raphael kissed softly, and murmured soft words and set his granite shell aside for the rest of the world.

“I love you,” Balthazar said. And it was true, just not the way Raphael loved him. Raphael gave him a very complicated smile and kissed him again. 

“Maybe it’s better if you stick to your normal platitudes,” Raphael said, his voice rumbling right through Balthazar’s chest. 

“Alright, gorgeous,” Balthazar said with his normal cocky smirk. The look on Raphael’s face was still complicated, but he focused on spoiling Balthazar in a way Balthazar truly did not deserve. Balthazar would take it anyway, because no one else could see all the love Raphael had to give and no one else would accept it.


End file.
